This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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