party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
