yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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