found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
