I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
