I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize