Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im holly from the hills drunk
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
