I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
