i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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