I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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