think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
