I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize