Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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