i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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