Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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