i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize