i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
