It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
