Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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