you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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