That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
