not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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