bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize