I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
