she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
