after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
