remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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