I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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