Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
