If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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