I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize