i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize