If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
