Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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