I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
