Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize