You made me cry and you don't even care
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
