This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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