mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize