She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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