Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
