Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
