I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
