so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
