You work out of a Hotel?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize