it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
