This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
