I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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