I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
