you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
