i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
