It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
