Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
