I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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