the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
