I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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