Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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