Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
