I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
