You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
