does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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