it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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