I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
as a side note pls kill me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
