before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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