he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
