i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize